I haven't posted in a while. I've been really busy and I haven't even thought about writing much lately. But in class today, we were given a page of African proverbs and asked to choose one to write about. I chose, "The one who has not made this journey calls it an easy one." This was a meaningful proverb today and it was the one I thought best fit into my own life. In my opinion, it symbolizes how easily most people underestimate the struggles others face day after day. People are forced to go through complex situations every day that are so common to society we don't even acknowledge them anymore. For example, family members and friends pass and are nearly forgotten weeks later, houses are burned to the ground along with the material goods we supposedly can't live without, and divorces tear families completely apart. But none of these things are as effective or painful unless they happen to you or otherwise occur in your life.. I learned this myself this summer and I'm going to tell you what happened in my life and turned it around, and how I got back on track and came out stronger than I went in.
Growing up, several of my friends had separated or divorced parents. I never thought much of it and the effects it had on my friends and their families.. until it happened to me. My mom and my dad started the divorce process this summer. I'd almost anticipated it, but I still didn't expect it to happen to me. And even when I really* saw it coming, I didn't think it would be so life-changing. But when it actually happened, it was all different than I expected. When I found out, I screamed. I cried for two days straight and spent the rest of my summer in a sad state. I felt alone... I was constantly swarmed with other peoples' problems (so I thought) and continuously jealous of the people who didn't have to deal with these problems. I was also angry at the people who acted like they understood, even when I knew they didn't and I honestly never wanted anyone else to understand. I wouldn't wish the pain that surged through my heart when it all became a reality upon anyone.. I also knew it could have been worse.. a lot worse.. but I was too consumed in my own self-pity to worry about that. I spent a few weeks in a fog.. I had strayed away from God, though I still went to church every week and acted like nothing had changed. I didn't want anyone to see anyone different about me but I constantly questioned God's plan and why any of this had to happen to me. Why couldn't it have happened to someone else? Someone "more" deserving than me? But one day, I decided to open up my Bible. I opened it up to the book of Job and read a little every day until I was finished. I saw the strengths of Job at the beginning and then the weaknesses began to show as his strength was tested over and over again. He finally realized God wasn't going to put him through anything he wasn't capable of handling himself, along with the help of the big guy above. He put Job through many struggles, but Job remained strong in his faith and he came out strong in the end. And once you realize this, you realize you can conquer the world if it's in God's will. You feel much stronger and more able than you did before. No matter what God throws your way, it's NEVER too much for you to handle. Sometimes God puts struggles in your way to help others that aren't as strong or just need to see someone else, in my opinion.. I talked longer than I expected but I haven't been on in a while and I needed to vent. Much love!!!
Though he slay me, still I will follow. -Job 13:15
The journey will always seem easy until it's one you have to take yourself...
